How To Avoid The Danger Of Farts On Your First Date

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Excuse yourself momentarily

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If you feel the telltale rumbling of gas if your belly about to erupt, excuse yourself to the restroom if you can. If for some reason you can’t get to a bathroom (like, if you’re on a hike or something else outside), pretend you have an urgent call and excuse yourself to take it a few yards away. Afterward, apologize profusely for taking the call and explain that your sister/great-aunt/boss never ever calls you unless it’s an emergency, and that it ended up being a butt-dial.

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