How To Avoid The Danger Of Farts On Your First Date

Mask the sound


Adjust your chair, which can ostensibly make the same sound (or at least one close enough to it to be believable). Grab a tissue and fake a sneeze, or a coughing fit — then blame it on allergies, or your wine going down the wrong pipe. Tap your feet. “Accidentally” put your glass down a little harder than normal. Pretend to drop your fork on your plate so it clangs a little bit. Laugh a little more loudly at your date’s jokes. If you’re at the movies, wait for a noisy scene.

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