4. A poor listener gets defensive
Whether it’s discussing what furniture to buy for the living room with your beloved partner or just chatting with a work buddy about a big new project, it’s probably not that uncommon for you to receive bad reactions. Maybe you have that feeling that somehow you’re being questioned for every decision you make.
Relax, it’s not you, a poor listener gets defensive in nearly every situation he or she finds himself or herself in and it’s likely that defensive reaction is not because the other person is saying something offensive, but rather because poor listeners aren’t actually listening to what you are saying.
21 thoughts on “7 Clear Signs of a Bad Listener”
people have commented that I’m a good listener and I take that as a compliment. It is especially frustrating to me, therefore, when it isn’t returned. Listening takes work. As you can see from all the comments,people by and large are selfish and lazy.
God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen more and talk less.
Helpful,
Thanks, I was thinking about the same thing yesterday. If you have to text someone the same question two or three times before getting a reply it is not worth the time. The reply is always about the person and not about the question ask or what I said. Yet the person wanted to know more about me. I did not want to be rude, I told him I was looking for a two way street but it seems as if he was happy down the one way street he was on. Happy traveling and good night to end the conversation.
Your observations are very good, as I have a don in law who never hears a thing anyone is saying because he knows it all. He was paid to go some renovations in my home but he never did what I had asked of him. He always finished the day doing things the way he wanted them, never considering that I paying for the job. In the end, he walked out on the job unfinished because I paid him up front. He is dishonorable and stupid because he lost out on other jobs because I can no longer recommend him.
My first thought while reading this article was…”I know people who do this! It is so aggravating..” Then, it dawned on me, wait, I have done this as well. Going to start paying closer attention to how well I listen.
Great article! Good reminder for us all.
My observation as well about myself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Practice what we preach! These these come to mind. Its very rare for me to find anyone willing to take a long hard look at themselves before passing judgement upon another.
I will be sharing this with others. Of particular importance to me is why I cannot vote for PRESIDENT TRUMP. I have had enough of his despicable habits for the last 4 years. We do not allow children to do in elementary school what he does daily as an adult. They are disciplined or expelled! Years ago I learned in my ministry training that “listening does not mean waiting your turn to talk.”
I’m pretty sure people have told you that, you have a serious problem with listening, and good judgement.
Having lived all my life in SoCal coastal/beachfront areas, I know live on the east coast (VT/NJ/FL) and find NJ people to be the worse offenders in interrupting or not letting you finish a sentence. NJ/NY men are the worst in talking over your first few words. Doesn’t matter how wise/intelligent/interesting you are (and quite attractive, too) men never let you finish a sentence, They wise-crack too. They verbalize sarcastic and non-pertinent remarks that makes the speaker stop in mid-sentence. IS THIS A NY/NJ AFFLICTION? I’ve lived in San Francisco, upscale suburbs of SF Bay Area; also, Southern California upscale coastal areas. World traveler too.
I’m curious….what’s the cause of this interrupting affliction seemingly localized in NY/NJ men???
I believe its a cultural thing over there on the east coast
Even worse than most of these behaviours listed here is the propensity for some boors to interrupt what you are saying in mid-sentence to talk to someone else. I have one of those on my S list.
OLD INDIAN PROVERB :
TWO EARS ONE MOUTH
” LISTEN TWICE AS MUCH , SPEAK HALF AS MUCH
usually I am the most intelligent person in the room and really not much interested
in listening since i pretty much know it all -and yes i have an ego as large as most
continents-and really do not care-and since i can multitask i also speak as much as listen-lol–
Hi Steve, just out of curiosity, how old are you? Lots goes through my mind with your comment. Sometimes a persons life and or Brain can be such that experience isn’t always a deciding factor in knowing it all. I would also be curious to know if you care about anything? Seriously… Thanks for considering a response back~
Interesting. . .
Unfortunately, I do this often, but its either that, to force the person talking to get to the point or organize their thoughts better, or tune them out. That may be worse than interrupting, no?
Listening is also about respect as well as learning, unless you dont have the time to wait n talk or are not willing to be in the presence of another
Oh I know someone exactly like this
Thank you for sharing this. I have a BAD habit of interrupting. I’m really going to work on this even if I have to bite my tongue off😂 THANK YOU AGAIN
Listening skills should be taught in schools not to mention at home when we are young. In my case, I am French and I noticed that coming to another country and continent people sometime dismiss me .It also might be that I speak English with accent and they miss some words,I want to believe that but after reading this article I am convinced that people do not care what I need to say . That makes me very frustrated !