How To Avoid The Danger Of Farts On Your First Date

Mask the sound

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Adjust your chair, which can ostensibly make the same sound (or at least one close enough to it to be believable). Grab a tissue and fake a sneeze, or a coughing fit — then blame it on allergies, or your wine going down the wrong pipe. Tap your feet. “Accidentally” put your glass down a little harder than normal. Pretend to drop your fork on your plate so it clangs a little bit. Laugh a little more loudly at your date’s jokes. If you’re at the movies, wait for a noisy scene.

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