10. You’re focusing more on the negative than on the positive
It’s in our nature to focus more on the negative aspects of our lives, but your relationship shouldn’t be another burden to carry. After a couple of years of marriage, it is likely that all the things you loved about your significant other may have turned to dust.
Elder strongly suggests couples to sign up for therapy “when they find themselves reflecting more on negative qualities and experiences than positive qualities and experiences, especially if they’ve been dealing with these issues for a while.”
John Gottman emphasizes the significance of having five positive experiences to one negative experience in a relationship. Elder points out that “when you have more negative experiences, you will start to see your partner in a negative light and potentially respond negatively towards them.”